I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
