Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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