and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
