But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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