so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
