you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
