I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
