I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
