Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
