I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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