Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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