I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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