That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
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