my mouth tastes like poor choices
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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