youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
