So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
