Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
