I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
