I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize