She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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