Can i not drive my cunt home
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
