He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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