Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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