I'm so fucking centered right now
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
My dick has a subreddit
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
