I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
