im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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