some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
