Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Randomize
