I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
