I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
