i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
