I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
