This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
