hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it glows. i had to have it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
