Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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