someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
