Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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