C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
