then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
