My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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