i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
