So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
