so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
