The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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