I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
