He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
