I never want to see another naked old woman again.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
