I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
