just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
