Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
